Getting support from your family and friends when you’re trying to make healthy lifestyle changes is not always easy.
Whether it’s from your spouse, kids, friends, or even co-workers, receiving negative feedback can be extremely discouraging.
Change is hard for a lot of people. And as you begin to change your life, it may cause others to feel uncomfortable.
The issues of weight loss, fitness and food can be deeply personal. Just the thought of them can bring up feelings of inadequacy, guilt, shame and wounds from the past.
And while we can’t change the way our friends and family may respond to our new lifestyle, we can share our journey with them and do our best to understand where they may be coming from.
If you are feeling unsupported by your family and friends as you better yourself and your life in 2017, I encourage you to read these tips below and remember that we at The Balanced Life are ALWAYS cheering you on.
What To Do When Your Friends & Family Don’t Support Your Healthy Lifestyle
1. Share your why.
Instead of launching into a lecture about why exercise or healthy eating is important (which we know it is!), share about what led you to make this change. Did you find a workout routine that sparked enjoyment instead of your usual dread? Did you feel dissatisfied by all of the sweets you were eating? Were you just ready to feel better on a daily basis?
Letting people in on your journey will help them understand that you do actually need support and that this change is about you, not about them.
2. Be open about your struggles.
Sometimes friends and family get the impression that you’re now “better” than they are because you’re no longer eating the same foods and participating in the same activities (weekend drinking, dessert every night, etc.). Being open and honest about how hard it is to make changes and how you’re not perfect can help them feel less intimidated and may even inspire them to make a few changes too!
3. Ask for support and be specific.
If you need support (and who doesn’t?!), ask for it. Whether it’s your significant other or close friends, let them know that this is challenging for you and you would like their support. If they don’t know that you are making these changes and that you are struggling, they may have no idea you actually need them and desire their support.
Additionally, it’s helpful to be as specific as possible in the kind of support you need. Maybe you just want your husband to try a new healthy recipe you made. Or maybe you want a friend to understand why you’re not ordering that second glass of wine. Whatever it is, speak up so those around you can be a part of your journey and understand where you’re coming from.
4. Remember that it’s probably not about you.
When we make healthy changes, it can make other people uncomfortable because they know they should be doing the same. Seeing others lose weight when their doctor has been telling them they need to do the same can bring feelings of guilt, insecurity, shame and jealousy. These feelings can get in the way of them being able to support and encourage you. Their negative comments or lack of support may be more about them and less about you. Keep this in mind and be gentle with them.
5. Remember that it’s not your job to change them.
Be mindful of how often you talk about your weight loss, workouts, food choices, and goals. While it’s good to share – you don’t want to talk about your workouts and weight loss all day every day. Find the friends that connect with you on that level (The Sisterhood is the perfect place for that!) and remember that sometimes the best way to inspire people is simply to lead by example in a way that is non-judgmental.
6. Turn negativity in to positivity.
Hopefully you don’t have any close friends or family members telling you that you can’t make these changes, but if you do, I encourage you to use it to fuel your motivation and stick to your goals. Remember, YOU are the one that lives in your body each day. Not them. It’s YOUR life and trying to please others by selling yourself short doesn’t help anyone.
7. Find a community that supports you.
Whether in-person or online, find a community that understands and supports the changes you are making. So even if your co-workers don’t understand why you are passing on the office birthday cake, you can send text or post a quick message in an online group to garner the support and encouragement you need.
It’s hard to make lifestyle changes and for those who struggle to find support, it can be even more difficult.
I hope these tips will help you recognize that while we can’t change others, we can (and should) seek out the support we need to better our lives and improve our health.
This is one of the reasons why I created The Balanced Life Sisterhood and if you are looking for support as you make health and fitness changes in the new year, I encourage you to check it out. As a member you will instantly have thousands of generous, positive, encouraging women cheering you on!